I was desperate. I sat curled in a chair, my face wet, my throat tight, my heart crushed. I was a mom of four great kids. We lived in a beautiful five bedroom, three bathroom home walking distance from our church where I volunteered and sang in the choir. I sobbed so hard, I could almost not speak, but I gathered my wits and looked my therapist directly in the eye. “What’s wrong with me? Please, please, please tell me what’s wrong with me?”
Her face softened. She handed me a tissue. She’d been seeing me and my spouse for several months now. This time I was there for a one-on-one session. She inhaled, then gave it to me straight. “There’s nothing wrong with you other than the fact that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship.”
As she explained the facts, a path formed both behind and in front of me. Until that moment, I didn’t know.
It seems impossible, but it’s true. I didn’t know. My own history had not given me the tools to understand that what was happening in my marriage was not “normal”.
Unfortunately, too many of our students have life experiences that don’t allow them to recognize relationship red flags.
One benefit of teaching English is that we can explore important life lessons through the literature we study. The Great Gatsby overflows with life lessons, and one of the most important ones involves helping teens recognize the signs of a toxic relationship.
This Character Analysis of the Great Gatsby: Why Does Daisy Stay? lesson provides an organic entry into this life lesson. It’s designed around the question many students ask of Daisy, the same one often asked in similar real life situations. Why doesn’t she just leave?
Let me take you through the class activities step-by-step. Students will
- Apply prior knowledge and novel knowledge to broach the subject
- Analyze Tom and Gatsby through Daisy’s eyes and the reader’s eyes
- Examine real life reasons people stay in toxic relationships
- Synthesize new and prior knowledge to reflect on Daisy’s choice
- Apply new knowledge to assess real life relationships
If you want to skip the explanation and go right to the free lesson, click here. This post will remain on Keeping Classics, so you can return to it any time.
Step 1: Use Prior Knowledge
Because toxic relationships and/or emotional abuse can be a triggering topic, you’ll need to broach the subject. In fact, I love teaching my students this term, broach, at the beginning of the year. It becomes a useful tool for all of us since most of our texts include hot-button subject matter.
Step one is an individual brainstorming activity that asks for some ideas Daisy might need to consider before she could leave Tom. Students should use their knowledge of the characters for Gatsby or other stories. They can use real life experiences if they feel comfortable doing so, or anything from current events–even the Johnny Depp trial.
Step 2: Analyze Tom and Gatsby
Step Two requires students to make the same choice Daisy is faced with: Tom or Gatsby. This step teaches empathy and character analysis. First, students brainstorm individually all the justifications for choosing Tom or Gatsby. Then, students group with peers who ultimately made the same choice. (Watch the video linked below to see what to do if everyone chooses the same guy.) This activity also engages students in considering a counterclaim. For example, if students choose Gatsby, they also have to consider evidence that he might be a stalker. How can they effectively refute the counterclaim?
This step also includes an opportunity to lighten things a little bit with a class vote.
FYI: The lesson comes with a Teacher Tips video? You can access it by clicking the image below. Also, it’s linked in the Keeping Classes zip file you’ll download when you grab your free lesson! (Thank you FlipGrid for making it easy.)
Step 3: Examine Real Life Reasons People Stay
Step three begins to move away from the novel, but not completely. It offers an infographic displaying reasons people stay in unhealthy relationships. Students are asked to consider scenes from the novel and how they might match up with these reasons. There is also a bonus lesson on implied and explicit textual evidence.
Step 4: Synthesize and Reflect
Reflection is the most powerful tool we have in the classroom. Georgetown.edu suggests that “reflection provides a basis for critical inquiry that values many forms of knowledge, including emotional intelligence and lived experience. This kind of work will prepare students not only to do well in the course but also to approach their lives and professions with purpose and wisdom.”
The synthesize and reflection step shifts students’ thinking to a more personal level while still focusing on character analysis. Students are asked to consider Nick’s assessment of Daisy and Tom as “careless people” and a “rotten lot”. How much of Daisy’s “rottenness” is due to her own choices and how much can be attributed to societal pressures?
Step 5: Assess Your Real Life Relationships
Please make this step optional.
The Character Analysis of The Great Gatsby: Why Does Daisy Stay? Lesson includes a brief real life relationship assessment. I communicate a trigger warning at this point and explain that the assessment is voluntary. Students don’t need to turn it in, but they can if they want. There are no points or grades attached to it. Students simply have an opportunity to apply new knowledge to their common beliefs. The assessment asks students to consider (possibly for the first time) if they are in a relationship, friendship, or partnership with someone who
- threatens to harm you or themselves if you leave the relationship.
- demands to have passwords and sign-on info for your devices.
- blames you for their angry outbursts.
- calls you names, insults or demeans you, shames you.
- is often jealous of your social media interactions or people you chat with.
IMPORTANT: Provide resources for students who want to talk to someone about this issue. The Keeping Classics lesson provides a few websites and suggested books. You will want to add local resources and mention your own school counselors.
BONUSES:
- Extended Learning
- Check out the Extended Learning slide in the Instructions Google™ Slides deck.
- Text Pairing
- Your students will benefit from pairing an excerpt from Just Daisy: A Gatsby Retelling. It revisits many of Fitzgerald’s original issues but retells them for a modern, young adult crowd. Excerpt and lesson included.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of this topic. DoSomething.org tells us that “33% of adolescents in America are victim to sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional dating abuse”. Don’t you wonder how many are like I was once upon a time and, due to their life history, don’t even realize it?
The best way to keep kids reading classics is to reveal relevance. The reason we need to keep kids reading classics is because they are so relevant. The Great Gatsby provides many life to literature connections. Opening readers’ minds to recognizing relationship red flags is probably the most important one.
Use this link to grab your free copy of the Keeping Classics lesson, Character Analysis of The Great Gatsby: Why Does Daisy Stay?
Check out this posts on more Great Gatsby lessons.
